《武松大虎（现代版）》-英语搞笑小品剧本

第一幕：喝酒
　　武松：Hello! I am Wu Song. The most handsome, the most famous, the most clever man in Liang Shan. I am going home to kill my sister in law Pan jinlian! She poisoned my brother. I told my brother Pan jinlian was dangerous. But My brother still married her. (叹气，唉….跟音乐一起唱且跳舞)Dangerous, dangerous! The girl is dangerous.
　　武松(见到酒店一家)：A restaurant! Good. I am hungry. (进屋坐下)Waiter! Wine! Wine! The best wine!
　　小二：Hi, sir. Sit down please. Would you like XO, Er Guo Tou, Mao Tai, or Qing Dao beer?
　　武松：（晕晕乎乎地）How much is the XO?
　　小二：1880 ( 展示大瓶酒，醒目的标价)。
　　武松：Open…Open…..(喷嚏)（小二将酒瓶起开）
　　武松：（面怒，片刻无语）Open the window please！Not the wine. I want some er guo tou! It’s strong enough.
　　小二
[热门]新《水浒》 ：You….You…..(敢怒不敢言, 转身倒碗二锅头)，Ok. Here you are.
　　武松：Anything to eat?
　　小二：Would you like sandwiches, hamburgers, bread, or pizza?
　　武松：Ten pizzas, please.
　　小二: Here you are!
　　武松：(喝一口酒）Good wine, very good wine!
　　（小二上了两碗酒，武松喝了，却是不再倒了）
　　武松：I want more wine. Why not serve me?服务员！淘宝最有效的减肥药排行榜怎么不倒酒了？
　　小二：Sir, More pizzas OK, more wine no way! 客官，要比萨饼就给您，这酒就不添了。
　　武松：(生气) Why? I have money! (扔钱倒桌上)
　　掌柜：Look! (指着 “三碗不过冈”牌子)。This wine is very strong. One bowl, comfortable. Two bowls, can’t walk. Three bowls, drunk and fall!，(叫店小二示范) 喝一碗神清气爽，喝两碗保你浑身无力，喝三碗就立刻醉倒，最多喝保证你酒精中毒，命都没有了……
　　武松：（喝一口，挤笑）Who am i? Wu Song! Even 18 bowls is nothing for me. Give me wine!(咆哮，敲桌子) 不是我狂妄，这酒劲虽大，可我绝对是应付得了，就是喝上十八碗也只是漱口而已，倒酒