Move over, I wanna slide in close to you so we can take the picture for our new
website.
挪过去 跟我坐近点 这样我们就能给新网站拍照了
Look, if you want to get all lesbian with me, just go for it.
嘿 如果你想和我百合 直接追我就行了
You don't have to pretend it's for the website.
不用打着为了网站的幌子
It is.
本来就是啊
And for the record, in 2009 when Katy Perry "kissed a girl and liked it",
顺便说一下 2009年Katy Perry唱"我吻了个女孩 我喜欢这感觉"
I kissed one and didn't.
我也吻了个女孩 不过我不喜欢
Ready? One, two, and
准备啊 一 二
- Perfect! - Perfect?
- 真完美啊 - 好意思说?
This photo does not say "let’s do your child’s birthday party".
这张照片可不是在说 "我们可以承办您孩子的生日派对"
It says, we are an AC/DC tribute band, you can pay us in cocaine.
而是 "我们是AC/DC模仿乐队 你们可以付给我们可卡因"
Oleg, would you take a picture of us for our website?
Oleg 你可以为我们俩拍张照片吗?You realize you just asked a man who only takes pictures of his penis?
你知道你刚刚问的是一个只给他的JJ拍照的男人吗?
But it's always well-lit, and perfectly in focus
但是他会采光 而且很会精确对焦
You won’t be disappointed; I take a lot of website pictures.
你们肯定不会失望的 我可拍过很多网站的照片
Yeah, but we are not wearing just bras and chicken masks
是啊 但是我们又不是只穿着内衣戴着鸡头面具的妞
We have time.
我们有的是时间
Maybe we should rethink the coke whore picture.
也许我们应该考虑一下黄色图片
Well, good night, ladies. Sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite.
晚安 女士们 早睡早起身体好 不睡小心被虫咬
And I remember time in New York when that was more cute than accurate.
想当年 在纽约 这话只是哄小孩的 现在不睡可真的会被咬
- Good night, Earl. - Good night.
- 晚安 Earl - 晚安
Oh, I’ve come across a 6 dollar inaccuracy in tonight’s total.
我刚刚发现今晚总营业额少了六块
You must go over all checks again.
你要再查一遍全部的小票
Oh , I’m just on my way home.
哦 但是我要回家了
But it's not 2 am.
但现在还没到两点
I hate to play the heavy but you must sit down and go over checks again.
我讨厌总唱白脸 但你必须坐下重新检查一遍
Oh, I’m 75 years old.
我已经75岁了
I don’t even have enough time to wipe twice.
我都没有足够的时间来擦两次屁股
Well, well. Hello there
哇哇 女士你好啊
Such a gentleman.
真是个绅士啊
And what a well-behaved boy!
这孩子真懂礼貌
Oh, there are the girls.
女孩们
- Sophie, hello, you look pretty. - Oh, I know.
- 你好啊sophie 你看起来很漂亮 - 那还用说
- Sorry, the kitchen is closed. - What?
- 不好意思厨房下班了 - 什么?
The kitchen was closed,
厨房是下班了
but can now be opened again for such a beautiful women.
但是可以为如此漂亮的女士重新开张
Hello, I am the chef.
你好 我是这儿的主厨
Oh, here we go. Ukraines is gonna try to invade Poland.
又来了 乌克兰又一次要占波兰的便宜了 [Sophie是波兰人]
It’s double-D day.
今天是诺曼D杯登陆日啊 [Dday指诺曼底登陆 double D指罩杯]
Oleg, this is our neighbor Sophie.
Oleg, 这是我们的邻居Sophie.
I would like to have a plate with sausage on it while I look over the menu
先要一盘香肠 其他的我看了菜单再说
Yowza
好啊
You are like someone super-sized Victoria's secret angel.
你就是丰满版的维密天使嘛 [维密天使是著名内衣品牌维密的模特代称 ]
I'd like to Gisele on your Bundchens.
就让我的吉赛尔来唤醒你心中的邦臣吧 [Gisele Bundchen是维密旗下超模]
Oh!
哦哦
You are gonna act like a dog, I’ll treat you like a dog.
你要装的像只狗 我就待你像只狗
Well, there goes his photography career.
啊哦 摄影生涯毁了啊
Do you still want the sausage?
你还想要香肠吗
Yes, of course. Why should sausage suffer?
肯定还要啊 为什么现在才说上香肠啊
You know how to handle yourself. Impressive.
你知道如何保护你自己 干得好
That was like a game of rock paper pervert.
石头色狼布 一物降一物
Sophie, thank you for coming in.
Sophie 谢谢你能来
Max and I wanna to talk to you about taking you up on your offer to work for your
cleaning company.
Max和我正打算和你商量下加入你的家政公司工作的事情
Yeah, she wants to do it for money to pay for our website.
是的 她想赚点外快好维持网站的运行
But I wanna do it cause I like rummaging through strangers' medicine cabinets.
我是喜欢在人家药箱里乱翻 看能捡到宝不
Have you cleaned a house before?
你之前有打扫过房子吗
Well, I had a house. And it was very clean.
我之前有一栋房子 而且它很干净
But, whatever the task, you won’t be sorry.
但是 不管任务是什么 你都不会失望的
Max and I are a great team.
Max和我是一个很棒的团队
And when we set our mind to something, we accomplish it
并且如果我们下定决心去做某件事 我们都会完成
- and you can consider giving us… - Oh, stop. This is not the dental school
interview.
- 你可以考虑给我们… - 别说了 这又不是牙医学院的面试
Come on. This is scrubbing toilet. In or out?
拜托 这只是刷刷马桶 到底干不干?
We are in, all the way.
我们加入 全心全意的
In my experience, when someone tells you they are all the way in, you’d better
hope their tongue works.
据我的经验 如果某人对你说他已经全入了 你也就只能指望他舌头功夫厉害了
So dirty!
好三俗啊
We can start tomorrow. Just tell us where to go and we will be there.
我们可以明天开始 谨遵您的指示
Oh, OK.
好的
Well, you walk out your door, you take right, you go upstairs,
你们走出房门 往右拐 上楼
you open my door and you clean my apartment.
打开我的门 打扫我的公寓
It’s audition
这是面试
Can I just take off my shirt like in Fame?
我能不能像《名扬四海》里那样 一脱当面试?
Excuse me.
打扰一下
Here is your non-sexual appetizer.
这是您的开胃菜 不带一点性暗示
You and I will start small.
我们认认真真 从头开始
You like?
您喜欢吗
Umm…Marty McFly and a delorean?
穿越一下不就得了[Marty McFly 电影《回到未来》主人公 Delorean是一台时光机器]
Besides we don’t need the website yet,
再说了现在我们又不等着这个网站使
we got the birthday cupcake job tomorrow without it.
没有网站 明天那笔生日小蛋糕生意咱不是一样搞到手了
And where do you think we got that job?
你当这笔生意是哪里来的啊?
I don't know, the job fairy?
我咋知道 仙女妈妈给的?
What, I don't pay attention to the business stuff.
干嘛啊 跑业务的事我向来不管的
I got the order at the web design company
我去网站设计公司的时候
when I overheard someone say it was his son's fifth birthday.
正巧有人在说他儿子五岁生日要到了 我才拿到生意的Yes, good boy. Now, go.
喜欢 乖狗狗 现在走吧 [呼应上文的"我就待你像只狗"]
Forced to clean Sophie’s department, this is getting dicey.
被迫来给Sophie打扫屋子 有点危险啊
Next thing you know, we are locked up in a crate and on our way to the far east.
一个不小心咱俩就给人家捆起来装箱卖到远东去了
Max we’re gonna spend this money on our website,
Max 赚到钱是要投到网站里的
that’s the future of our company.
那可是我们公司的未来啊
But the future is so far in the future
可这未来也太遥远了啦
Band I need this money now for real stuff like gummy bears and eyeliner.
我要的是现钱能买些东西 比如说小熊软糖和眼线笔
How do you think you get to the future?
你不努力未来怎么会实现啊
Umm…Marty McFly and a delorean?
穿越一下不就得了[Marty McFly 电影《回到未来》主人公 Delorean是一台时光机器]
Besides we don’t need the website yet,
再说了现在我们又不等着这个网站使
we got the birthday cupcake job tomorrow without it.
没有网站 明天那笔生日小蛋糕生意咱不是一样搞到手了
And where do you think we got that job?
你当这笔生意是哪里来的啊?
I don't know, the job fairy?
我咋知道 仙女妈妈给的?
What, I don't pay attention to the business stuff.
干嘛啊 跑业务的事我向来不管的
I got the order at the web design company
我去网站设计公司的时候
when I overheard someone say it was his son's fifth birthday.
正巧有人在说他儿子五岁生日要到了 我才拿到生意的
Gross. Using children for your own profit.
鄙视你 为一己之私连孩子都不放过
Way to go, china!
好你个天朝煤老板
Well, here we are!
你好 我们来了
Why is this big news?
来了就来了 你嚷嚷个什么劲?
Come in.
进来吧
So if this all works out today, I have two possible jobs for you,
我手上就有两份工, 要是今天做的好就给你们
both in the same building.
正好都在同一栋楼里
Two? That’s amazing.
两份工? 那太好了
This is the only way that I can make sure that you don't ruin my company's good
name.
为了不让公司赫赫名声毁在你俩手上 我也只好这样
Because I worked hard to build Sophie’s choice.
我是呕心沥血才有 "索菲的选择"现在的模样
Now one of you take bathroom and one of you take out here.
你们一个去清理卫生间 一个打扫这里
